This is a solemn epitaph in honor of a departed saint! I thought I was an ingenious writer, always having my way with words, irrespective of dispositions…scribbling down realities using the pen. However, your exit made me realize that “In the art of writing, emotion is everything”
In those days, I felt defenseless, watching my tears flow faster than the flux of my ink…defying the entire writing process. For many weeks, I feared that I had lost my favorite flair! however, I was still able to scribble down this solemn epitaph
It’s exactly one year since I resigned to the Almighty’s will over your fate…for which you were infirm for some months.
My Love, I was willing to bear the brunt, I could pray and sing to yield point, I could empty my coffers many times over, I could abandon those academic engagements a million times over, I could swim through oceans, gallantly walk through icy and glassy seas, fly across diverse time zones… dare the impossible, just to have you by my side again.
Loving you was not difficult, because it stemmed from the soulish realm!
Permit me to make some solemn confessions:
I would be comfortable with being your most devoted caregiver and personal nurse more times than you can imagine…
I perceived you could see me in your comatose state, whilst I held your hands and you held on to mine…so I fought back the tears.
Sincerely I did cry when I left your side, I wasn’t exactly so strong in your absence….but I needed to be strong in your presence so we could pray together.
I heard your ‘inaudible’ AMENs…Oh yes, I did! For we prayed deeply! I understood that you were in a strait betwixt (Like Paul, the Apostle) emotionally torn between Desire (Heaven) and Duty (Loved ones).
I am glad I fought this war this necessary war with you, and it gladdens my heart the more, knowing that you made the best choice…but I must confess that your choice was not any easier for the likes of me.
My innermost desire was to remain with you when you breathed your last, and continue in teary prayers to the ONE who owns all life to bring you back to me. I could not bear to see them deposit you in that lonely and cold room, but those guys were too strong to contend with!
The sad memories of how you motivated me to always pray and study the scriptures, how you sensed my moments of prayerlessness from afar, how you desired that I grew up to be highly spiritual and responsible as a student.
You taught me firmness, resilience, and self-control, I am fully assured that your kind is not fit to dwell on this terrestrial plane, so heaven did well to receive you, (early enough) before the evil days came.
I am also glad you were at your duty post when it all happened. Indeed, a great Iroko fell…leaving many birds homeless.
I truly fought tears, wondering how Mother Earth conceived receiving your saintly remains! It was for the best that you left, but your works have marked true depths, many a sad hearts have you left…to find face and solace in the Almighty to repay this trans-generational debt’ incurred!
I hope you are having a jolly time with your new family over there?
I wish I could hold your hands again and plant warm kisses on your formerly chubby cheeks and finely-contoured, aquiline nose.
However, I harbor one fear: I am afraid I might not be able to forget you completely!
I see the reasons why: thoughts of you have been interwoven in the very fabric of my subconscious mind, which I guess its the safest place ever! My thoughts drift towards you, almost daily, without exceptions.
I love your strength!
I admire your personhood!
I covet your meekness/humility!
Quite factually, I don’t desire your cooking abilities!!
They said, “If wishes were horses, beggars will ride”. The truth is that I miss you dearly!
I was distraught when you left, almost always sober and vulnerable, but for the Almighty’s warm embrace which momentously transports me to dreamland…whilst He repaired my wounded spirit.
Fortunately, The good news is that I bounced back!
Ifeanyi, I wish you could read this:
I do love you…
I never stopped loving you!